Saturday, January 24, 2009

late at night...oh midnight...

still awake...

I guess I'm too tired nowadays. Working over hours almost everyday and have to think about lot of things, main job, side job and personal life... Gosh, I feel like I don't have time for myself. I'm planning to get relax on the long weekend but yeah my sis just told me, 'hey, tomorrow we're going to have meeting at 9 am!' Man, didn't you realized tomorrow is Saturday? All my plan to have time for myself is vanish slowly..huhuhu..this is not good :-S

Waiting for my love to get online but I guess he's falling asleep... so here I am, writing a blog, trying to figure out who am I. My process is on going, many things will happen to me.. I need to prepare for any kind of situation in the future.

I said to myself, I want to be a better person than yesterday, more discipline in some ways..uhh I'm trying hard now. The temptation is soooo hard and yummy hehehe.... Hoping for the great part of me!!

Ah, my love is online now... will off to chat with him.. miss him so much but I miss him more ;)
bitch ha? :D

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Kangen

Iya beneran, kangen banget... I miss you so much!! xoxo

Part of my silliness, falling in love with a guy from virtual :D but I can feel that the feeling is growing and he become my habit. Sad is he has so much limited, I try to understand his situation but I read that book!! "He's not just into You" So I know I get trapped in that situation, I know that some part of me trying to 'normalizer' but my logic side said, 'hey, you ain't that stupid, girl!'

But then I still keep the feeling and put my hope in behind. That hope is more dangerous I think because my imagination will be full of that hope, that dream, etc.. I'm just an ordinary girl who want to fall in love and be happy

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Semalam...

Hari ini ada yang aneh pada diriku... some part of me, I mean the real me mulai terbuka tetapi di sisi lain aku merasa ada sesuatu yang aneh yang kurasa this isn't me or is it the real me???

2009, at least I start it with a new hope in new office. Yes, I got new job. I thank God to help me out from my old place, Alhamdulillah.. Bukannya aku merasa tidak berterimakasih tetapi suasana yang sudah tidak nyaman membuat diriku merasa it's time to move on!! And I got it though this isn't what I dream of but I learn something new here, meet new people and slowly but sure 'the real me' is open. Maybe this is the message... I don't know... I'm just wondering until the truth is reveal

Ok, the story begin from my new job.
Yup, something new... it's excited to use my brain again hahaha even I got tired or sleepy because I get home very late. Well, it's life... seems like this is my next journey to get to know about the life, my life for sure ;)

Then, something weird about today... rasanya tidak enak dan jahat karena telah membuat orang yang baik padaku merasa bersalah. But he's over react most of the time... I can't stand with it and I finally said it...well not all but one by one (mmm..really? One by one?)
Before that, another person, d'oh, someone I like alot did something bad to me... I get pissed off and felt so b*#tchy!! Ya, he did what he said but the way he did it...hurt me :(( I should know that he's going to do that again because it wasn't the 1st time. Blame me for being HOT!!
And just now, my not that pure friend (TTM), doing (again) his bad habit. I don't know why all those things happen berurutan.. I did my pray and wish for 'that' so I just wondering is it part of the selection?
My mood isn't not in the good mood, I can get moody so quickly...maybe it's because I get tired and felt part of my old life is missing. Life is move on as I move to the next step. God is here and around me :)

Oh one more thing, I'm not sure but I think there's connection too with I get internet connection at home. More time for virtual world and yep that things too... Gosh, you showed me ME!!

OK, sleepy now... It's time to go to bed and wake up early tomorrow for a better day and a better life :)